Whoa, has it been thirteen years since American Pie? It’s about time we check in on these kids, you know, all grown up and stuff. All I can say is it really doesn’t matter what they’re up to these days because they’re all just the same sex-obsessed group of idiots we know and love. Whether you’re a fan of these fools or not, you’ll get a kick out of American Reunion (or at the very least get your money’s worth of tits and ass).

Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) is a father now, but that doesn’t stop him from lusting over slutty college girls with his trusty sock. In retrospect, Jim’s dad Noah (Eugene Levy) is now a widower and receives some knowledgeable advice about ‘getting vag’ from the Stifmeister (Seann WIlliam Scott). I think I actually enjoy the 30-year-old Stifler more than him in his twenties because he does some seriously badass things to some kids that splashed him at the beach. Because that’s like totally not cool, man.

I’m surprised everyone came back for this 1999 high school reunion. Even Tera Reid and Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) make an appearance, although they weren’t as naked in this version. I’m also surprised that Katrina Bowden agreed to play such an embarrassing role, and Chris Klein totally puts Kevin Federline to shame with his hip hop moves (don’t ask). Even the Shermanator (Chris Owen) hooks up with what Stifler calls ‘the-blow-that-got-away.’ Oh, and did anyone else notice that Jason Biggs looks like Adam Sandler?

Doesn’t growing old suck? Chasing after high school chicks can be challenging, especially if you haven’t seen Twilight. But let’s just say Stifler gets his well-deserved revenge on Finch when he finally grows up and talks to a real woman. Stick around to check out the most epic movie date between Stifler’s mom and Jim’s dad. You’ll die when you hear him say, “Best. Movie. Ever!”

[star v=35]