Movie Review: Goon
Trust me, you don’t have to be a hockey fan to enjoy this movie. You don’t even have to enjoy sports, high testosterone action, profane language or excessive violence to draw some tears. Seann William Scott will creep under your skin as the adorable big lug Doug Glatt in GOON — and it’s not just the padding or the ’69’ uniform. He’ll have you breaking out your stomach light and phoning home together ET-style.
But let’s get something straight. Of course there are gay locker room jokes, swearing and happy endings, but the fun doesn’t end there. There will be fighting and bleeding that will make you cringe in your seat (picture a puck right in the sucker). Like any outcasted idiot that is uncannily aware of his lack of smarts, Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott) is a security guard that works as a ‘goon’ beating up his opponents for the Halifax Highlanders and considers himself a hockey player, or at least a member of the team regardless of what people tell him. You’re not watching Gridiron Gang or Moneyball here, this guy knows what he’s here to do. If you want to see a bunch of grown men act like children, throw down their gloves and wrestle on ice, that’s exactly what you’re going to get. As the coach says, “this isn’t baseball.”
One surprisingly amusing element in GOON is the romance between hockey player groupie Eva (Alison Pill) and Doug. There’s no way a girl can give up phone calls in the bathroom and a gatorade date. The sweetest thing she says to him is, “You make me want to stop sleeping with other guys.” If that doesn’t take the cake, how about taking a severe beating from her boyfriend as a tribute for taking another man’s woman. Now that’s respect. Who cares about some epic fight with two hockey goons when this is going on?
The Eastern Canadian accents might be distracting at times, but that’s nothing compared to the delicious eye candy. Marc-André Groundin plays the famous Xavier Laflamme that lost his game after getting severely knocked out by the current hockey goon Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber). I can’t even count how many times Jay Baruchel gyrates his hips and flicks his tongue through his fingers, but beyond that he’s still ridiculously charming with his handy-cam. Who says Canadians aren’t sexy? Written by Canadian comedian Evan Goldberg who brought you Pineapple Express and Superbad, GOON separates itself from other sports movies with its delirious comedic effect. I haven’t enjoyed a sports movie this much since The Mighty Ducks.