Before we get into this, I’m a big fan of Adam Sandler. You can even say I had a crush on him as a girl, but then he got old and fat and now he’s dressing up like a girl in Jack & Jill. Don’t you know by now that no one can play a woman except Tyler Perry in the Madea series or if you want to compare it to a white man, Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire? Please don’t let me get started on Eddie Murphy.

So here’s the story. Jack Sadelstein (Adam Sandler) is a big-shot advertising director married to the hot but awkwardly unfunny Erin (Katie Holmes) and their hilarious two kids, Gary (Rohan Chand) and Sofia (Elodie Tougne). And then there’s Jill Sadelstein, a 40-year-old single woman who lives with her bird and is spending the holidays alone for the first time since her mother passed away. Feel sorry for her yet? Yeah, me neither. I can’t help but sympathize with Jack even though I know I should be sympathizing with Jill. I guess I didn’t use my super twin powers to feel the right way.

Yes, the movie is still funny. You get your fare share of farting, pooping, racism and violence. But I’m sorry Dennis Dugan, this is no Happy Gilmore. If Jill was sexier, younger or just didn’t look so much like Adam Sandler she might have successfully grabbed some emotional apathy from me. Instead, I’m literally speechless at the comedic talents of Al Pacino losing his mind. Wait a second, Al Pacino is actually in this movie? I wish the trailers advertised this more because he’s really the only reason anyone should pay to watch this. Sorry Sandler fans, nothing beats Al Pacino in the Dunkin’ Donuts ‘Dunkaccino’ commercial!

Oh, and watch out for the Rohan kid, he’s got some of the best lines in the movie! He’ll be stealing young Aziz Ansari’s spotlight in a few years. “Busted. Disgusted. Never to be trusted.” This totally describes my feelings about Adam Sandler and the Happy Madison family — retire already! Or at least update your gags, don’t you know you need some more vagina jokes to survive in today’s economy? Jack’s assistant Todd (Nick Swardson) is the perfect example of how telling inappropriate, not-so-funny, only Adam Sandler can say-type jokes will get you fired.

On another note, are men getting bored of wearing suits or something? David Spade gets in on the woman-dressing by playing some hoe named Monica that people call the ‘cheese-tray’ because she got passed around at all the parties. More stacked celebrities involve Regis Philbin, Tim Meadows, Allen Covert, Shaquille O’Neal, Drew Carey, even Johnny Depp! Hey, if Al Pacino joined this cast I guess everyone else had to say yes or he’ll go all Godfather on them.

[star v=2]