If you’re going to visit a foreign country during an International film festival, I guess Cannes would be at the top of the list. I mean, who isn’t in Cannes during those two weeks in May? This year Kanye West and Kim Kardashian even made their way over just to participate in the glory of Cannes. But watch out. It’s not as glossy as it may seem. However, if you must make yourself over to the event, here’s a little survival guide from yours truly.

Red Carpet Wrestle:
Oh, did you think you were the only screaming fan to try and lock eyes with Robert Pattinson? Guess what, there will always be someone more obsessed than you. Camp out in the early afternoon (they supply ladders on the street) and you can catch a pretty good shot of the red carpet premiere.

Movie Madness:
Dress up. Girls must be in gowns, boys must be in tuxedos (you can get away with a black suit but you must have a bowtie. They sell them for €15 in front of the entrance) Hold up a sign, or just approach people that are receiving tickets. Blue tickets are for special guests and brown tickets require an escort from a badge holder. And that’s any walking human with a badge. Just whisper “I’m with him” at the person in front of you. Or make friends. Whatever floats your boat.

If you run out of luck, catch a flick on the beach that is open to everyone. It’s literally like an outdoor theatre with seats set up. They even give you a blanket since you’re sitting by the water.

On the Road:
Trains and buses are incredibly inconvenient. They don’t arrive on time, they close early and are usually on strike in the afternoons. Don’t go out of walking distance of the palais if you can avoid it. But if you must go somewhere that you can’t walk to, ask some people waiting at the taxi line-up by the train station to see if you’re all going the same way. You can even hitch a ride for free if you hold up a sign to where you’re going (I’d suggest doing this with a male partner, cause you never know what can happen. This is still Europe).

Party Planner:
There is always an after party to every premiere and if you attend the screening you are automatically admitted with your ticket. The Petite Majestic is a bar behind the Majestic hotel that most non-badgers begin the night at for a cheap drink and gossip on where the parties are. It’s stupidly exclusive and you probably won’t get in, but you can dress up and put on a stink about meeting a friend at the bar. Good luck, security is tight.

There’s so many people walking around during the festival that it’ll be nearly impossible to spot any A-listers just cruising on the street. It’s a fashion blogger’s beautiful nightmare with the style sights you’ll see here. On a plus side, this is the only place you will get to order a panini on the sidewalk with an evening gown, or walk along the beach in a three-piece suit. Oh yes, this is the high life.

PS – stay out of Antibes or Juan les Pins or any other cities surrounding Cannes. It’s not worth the cheap accommodation when you can’t even get into town some days. I’d suggest booking an apartment along the coast with three to four friends. And book this early, like right now when it’s not even a week after this year’s festival type of early. Be prepared. It’s a jungle out there.