Arbitrary Compilation of Films That Came Out in 2012
Last year I made a new kind of end of year list here at Scene Creek, The Arbitrary Compilation of Films That Came Out in 2011. Well, considering that a year has passed and a whole year’s worth of movies has come out since then, it looks like its time to make a new Arbitrary Compilation of Films That Came Out in 2011, except, obviously, this year the list will feature movies that came out in 2012. Got it? Good? Now without any further adieu, after a long year of waiting patiently, I bring you…
The Arbitrary Compilation of Films That Came Out in 2012
Best Movie Where People Turn 40
This Is 40 was a really funny and very realistic movie about life. It was one of Judd Apatow’s funniest movies yet while also being dramatic and sentimental. However, it also featured the most amount of characters turning 40 in a single movie this year, with a whopping two. Because of that, This Is 40 takes home the prize for being the best movie where people turn 40 in 2012.
Best Movie Starring The Hulk
The Avengers was one of the best superhero movies of all time, and it combined all of our favourite Marvel characters from recent years into one super-sized and incredibly entertaining film. But, it also starred the Hulk, and the Hulk was really awesome in it, and therefore The Avengers is the best movie starring the Hulk.
Best Book Adaptation
The Perks of Being a Wallflower silently came into theatres, didn’t make a lot of money, and silently left. Yet it was one of the best movies of the year. It was also based on a book, and since this is an arbitrary compilation of films, Perks wins the prize for being the best book adaptation.
The Amazing Spider-Man, as good as it was, was essentially a remake of every single Spider-Man story ever told. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily… Actually, on second thought, maybe it is.
Most Overrated Movie
“The Dark Knight Rises is the best movie of all time!!!” said every single person ever before they even saw it. Then, after realizing it wasn’t as good as The Dark Knight, they said nothing.
Best Fantasy Movie
Ruby Sparks was about a writer who created a girl with his typewriter and could make her do anything he wanted just by typing it. How did he use this power? He made her cook him eggs… But still, that’s one hell of a wild fantasy.
Best Found Footage Movie
In a year of found footage movies, Chronicle was the absolute best. It showed that there’s still a ton of life left in the format if done correctly and with innovation and creativity, however, if we learned anything from all the other found footage movies in 2012, it’s that none of them use the format correctly or with innovation and creativity.
Movie Least Like Twilight
The Hunger Games seemed like another Twilight wannabe before it came out, but everyone quickly realized that it wasn’t anything like Twilight. It was actually good.
Movie Most Like Twilight
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II was the most like Twilight because it was Twilight. Too bad for it.
Best Movie About Cupboards Opening
Paranormal Activity 4 had a lot of cupboards opening and closing. That’s all.
Best Movie Featuring A Character Taking A Bath In Milk
Snow White and the Huntsman had an entire scene devoted to one of the main character inexplicably bathing in a bathtub full of milk. It was never explained again. Weird.
Best Piranha 3D Movie
Piranha 3DD had the most 3D piranhas, the most 3D boobs, and the most 3D decapitations of any film before it. Good for it.
Best Jonah Hill Comedy
21 Jump Street was the best Jonah Hill comedy of the year. Funny, clever, and full of explosions, this movie, also written by Hill, was not just the best Jonah Hill comedy of the year, but it was also one of the best all around movies of the year.
Second Best Jonah Hill Comedy
The Watch was poorly received, but it was actually a great movie. Aliens, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn. Seems like a good combination to me.
Least Relevant Title
Project X was a good movie, but what the hell does the title have to do with anything? Considering that this has nothing to do with the Matthew Broderick movie about a chimpanzee with the same name, why is this movie called Project X?
Best Taylor Kitsch Movie
Taylor Kitsch is completely awesome and Friday Night Lights is the best show on TV. However, this year saw Kitsch star in 3 movies, all of which didn’t do exceptionally well at the box office. Since I didn’t see John Carter and I didn’t like Savages, Battleship wins the award for best Taylor Kitsch movie of the year. Taylor Kitsch, I sincerely wish you all the best in your career.
Most Bad-Ass Movie
Skyfall. Bond. Daniel Craig. Javier Bardem. Sam Mendes. Adele. Great movie.
Best 3D Re-Release
Finding Nemo is one of the best movies of all time, and this year’s 3D re-release made it even better.
Best Borat Non-Sequel
The Dictator was not a sequel to Borat, even though it easily could have been. A foreign guy comes to the United States? Check. He has weird facial hair? Check. He’s sexist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic? Check. He falls in love with an unlikely woman? Check. Whatever. It was still entertaining.
Best Adam Sandler Comedy
That’s My Boy was the best Adam Sandler comedy this year. Does that mean it was any good? Abso-fucking-lutely not.
Best Family Guy Movie
I don’t care that Ted was about a teddy bear, it was Family Guy The Movie.
Best Use Of Jeremy Renner’s Astounding Jumping Ability In A Movie
The Bourne Legacy had a lot of scenes with Jeremy Renner jumping. And that’s about all it had.