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Movie Q&A: Snow White and the Hunstman

This Friday, yet another movie about Snow White gets released. This time, it’s Snow White and the Hunstman, a movie directed by no one you’ve ever heard of and starring Charlize Theron, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and that girl from Twilight (Kristen Stewart). It’s a dark retelling of the story of Snow White.

But is it any good? Well, I’m about to tell you because it’s time for another installment of “All Questions Answered”

Q: Is Snow White and the Huntsman any good?
A: It depends on your definition of the word “good.” If you define “good” like the rest of the world, then no, Snow White and the Huntsman is in no way “good.”

Q: Is this movie like that TV show Once Upon A Time or that movie Mirror Mirror?
A: Well, both of them are about Snow White, so in a sense, yes. In another, truer sense, no. Once Upon A Time is actually good, and Mirror Mirror at least didn’t try so hard to be good.

Q: Who wrote or directed this movie? It must have been someone good in order to get such a big budget and marketing push.
A: No one you’ve ever heard of has written this movie, and someone you’ve heard of even less has directed it.

Q: How long is this movie?
A: In a general sense, Snow White and the Huntsman is about 19 hours long. But it feels much, much longer.

Q: Does Charlize Theron’s character take a bath in this movie?
A: Yes.

Q: Does Charlize Theron’s character take a bath in water in this movie?
A: No.

Q: What substance does Charlize Theron’s character take a bath in?
A: It’s either half and half, or very thick white paint.

Q: Why does she do that?
A: There’s literally not a single reason for it, nor is it ever explained.

Q: What movie would you compare Snow White and the Hunstman to?
A: It’s comparable to King Kong in that every scene is about an hour long for no reason. But it’s also not comparable to King Kong since King Kong was good.

Q: Does the movie have any good hair or makeup effects like most of these movies do?
A: Yes. Especially if you consider one of the main character’s haircuts looking like he cut his own hair with a spaghetti strainer on top of his head good.

Q: Are there seven dwarves in this movie just like in the original Snow White?
A: Yes, but they’re played by regular sized actors. The movie just used CGI to awkwardly shrink the lower half of their body. It looks weird.

Q: Without spoiling the movie for me, what happens when one of the characters gets stabbed?
A: Well, a character (I won’t tell you who) gets stabbed right in the chest, but for absolutely no reason he/she doesn’t die. It’s not explained.

Q: Does Kristen Stewart show more emotion than usual in this film?
A: Haha, good one.

Q: Seriously, why did Charlize Theron take a bath in half and half?
A: I’ve been asking myself that all day.

Q: Is there any arbitrary shots of horses in this movie like there was with Battleship?
A: As a matter of fact, yes. There is a horse that is for no reason at all just sitting around on a beach, and then after one scene it’s never seen again.

Q: Is there any good acting in this movie?
A: Yes, between all her dairy product baths, Charlize Theron turns in an amazing performance for absolutely no reason.

Q: Should I see this movie?
A: Are you punishing yourself for something? If the answer is yes, then go see Snow White and the Hunstman.


Jake Horowitz

Easily the most sarcastic, snarky, and opinionated writer on Scene Creek, Jake has been a staff writer with us since 2011 where he has entertained readers with his semi-weekly segment, "All Questions Answered." After writing for Collider.com and other outlets around the web, Jake has found his home at Scene Creek where he has spawned numerous features, reviews, and recurring segments that serve to enlighten, confuse, and infuriate readers. Most of Jake's time is spent writing for television or watching television, but in his spare time he will interact with readers and fans and post witty one-liners on his Twitter account. Favorite Movies: Rain Man, Social Network, Toy Story 3