Have you seen Don McKellar?

Safety Not Guaranteed: The Perfect Movie?

Dear Safety Not Guaranteed,

I saw you the other day in a movie theatre. Not sure if you noticed me, but I immediately thought you were interesting. I was wearing the blue hoodie and you came into the theatre at 8:00PM. You came out of no where, had a bunch of amazing people starring in you, and impressed almost every single person that was watching you, but it was me who really took notice. You had style, charm, charisma, humor, and heart. Somehow you balanced drama with humor with sci-fi and managed to be one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. First I thought you were a little hipstery and “indie,” then I looked closer and saw you were funny and charming. Then, upon further inspection, I realized you were deep, heartwarming, and beautiful in every way. I was enjoying every second with you, but I was still wondering how you were going to live up to my now very high standards with your ending. You kept digging yourself deeper and deeper with your story, and I thought there was only one way out of it. I had you all figured out. Then you went and did something crazy. You pulled off the unexpected and did something I never thought would happen. You left after an hour and a half leaving me completely satisfied. You are the perfect movie for me, Safety Not Guaranteed. I know it’s early in our relationship, but I think I love you.

Jake Horowitz

Easily the most sarcastic, snarky, and opinionated writer on Scene Creek, Jake has been a staff writer with us since 2011 where he has entertained readers with his semi-weekly segment, "All Questions Answered." After writing for Collider.com and other outlets around the web, Jake has found his home at Scene Creek where he has spawned numerous features, reviews, and recurring segments that serve to enlighten, confuse, and infuriate readers. Most of Jake's time is spent writing for television or watching television, but in his spare time he will interact with readers and fans and post witty one-liners on his Twitter account. Favorite Movies: Rain Man, Social Network, Toy Story 3