Have you seen Don McKellar?

Movie Review: This Means War

This Valentine’s Day comes a film that is hoping to appeal to everyone and be the date movie that everybody sees. This Means War, directed by (I can’t believe I’m typing this) McG, combines action for the guys with romantic comedy for the girls and follows the story of two CIA agents that are best friends and fall for the same woman.

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, and Tom Hardy, This Means War went through a lot of casting changes to get to its finished product. Originally, the film was meant to star Sam Worthington until he dropped out and Tom Hardy signed on. Also turning down roles were Bradley Cooper and Seth Rogen. At this point in their careers, none of these people need to be in a film like this. Not that it’s a horrible movie, but it’s one destined to be watched on Valentine’s Day this year, slightly enjoyed by many, and quickly forgotten by all.

By trying to combine an action/spy film with a romantic comedy, the writers thought they had stumbled upon a formula for a movie that can win over all audiences. In some respects, the film succeeds at this, with pedestrian humor and generic action sequences that will make happy the exact people who are shelling out $30 on a date to see this. If you’re the kind of person who made Little Fockers and Vampires Suck become box office winners, you’re definitely going to love this movie. If you’re a fan of Dane Cook, Ben Stiller, or Jason Statham, go see this movie.

However, if you hate anything mentioned above and cringe at the thought of a dog biting a man in the balls with overplayed sound effects while the character in the foreground is (obviously) blatantly unaware of what’s happening behind them, this is not the movie for you. If you don’t want to see movie clichés like a car speeding towards an (again, obviously) unfinished bridge with a section missing in the middle for some reason, don’t go see this movie.

In the end, McG (who needs to get an actual name that doesn’t consist of 2/3rds of it being capitalized) crafts a movie that will make his audience leave happy. His audience. The audience that wanted to see this movie in the first place. No one else.

Again, it’s not a horrible film, and if you find yourself dragged to this movie it will be better than you expect. However, I would just recommend you avoid being dragged.

[star v=2]

Jake Horowitz

Easily the most sarcastic, snarky, and opinionated writer on Scene Creek, Jake has been a staff writer with us since 2011 where he has entertained readers with his semi-weekly segment, "All Questions Answered." After writing for Collider.com and other outlets around the web, Jake has found his home at Scene Creek where he has spawned numerous features, reviews, and recurring segments that serve to enlighten, confuse, and infuriate readers. Most of Jake's time is spent writing for television or watching television, but in his spare time he will interact with readers and fans and post witty one-liners on his Twitter account. Favorite Movies: Rain Man, Social Network, Toy Story 3