2013: The Year of the Movie Look-Alikes

Every year, there are those ideas that studios simply love, and what ends up happened is that you get two movies with very similar plots or ideas released during the same year, sometimes only a month or two apart. 2012 saw Quartet and A Late Quartet, while in 2011, The Green Lantern and The Green Hornet were released seemingly back to back. Whether or not they are actually that similar, they struggle to set themselves apart, and inevitably, one will lose out.

With that in mind, here is what we saw double of in 2013, and which on came out on top.

Olympus Has Fallen vs. White House Down
White House Down is more fun, more charming, and rightfully more ridiculous than the heavy-handed and trite Olympus has Fallen.

Olympus-Has-Fallen-White-House-Down

The Mortal Instruments vs. The Host
It looks like both of these hopeful franchises are doomed, but at least things happened in The Mortal Instruments. Sure it was incomprehensible and bloated, but it sure was entertaining. The Host did feature the great Saorise Ronan playing two roles, but then it turns into a creepy romantic triangle or quadrangle or something, and then got a very convenient ending. Could be a tie.

The-Mortal-Instruments-The-Host

The World’s End vs. This is the End
The Seth Rogen-Evan Goldberg romp definitely went to some hysterical and random places, the third and final entry to Edgar Wright’s Cornetto trilogy, The World’s End, was hilarious while also entertaining, smart, and even depressing.

The-Worlds-End-This-is-the-End

A Haunted House vs. Scary Movie 5
Not the most glamorous match-up, but the Marlon Wayans Paranormal Activity parody wins out.

A-Haunted-House-Scary-Movie-5

Spring Breakers vs. The Bling Ring
In the battle of stylized films about stylish, spoiled youngsters, one movie was clearly more outrageous and more guiltily pleasurable. Spring Breakers went to some absurd places, but it was mesmerizing and led by super crazy James Franco. The Bling Ring is a close second, but less compelling and lacking in such phrases as “Look at my shit!”

Spring-Breakers-The-Bling-Ring

Snitch vs. Homefront
In the battle of brooding, protective fathers, Dwayne Johnson may be giving a better performance, and he is supported by the great Jon Bernthal, but Jason Statham’s thriller is more satisfying and engaging. Plus, he gets a villain in the form of crazy James Franco.

Snitch-Homefront

The Last Stand vs. Bullet to the Head
It’s a tie, as they both pretty much deliver on exactly what you want and expect. If only they could do a movie together! Oh right…..skip both and see Escape Plan instead. Wouldn’t it be cool if they got some other old action stars to feature as well?

The-Last-Stand-Bullet-to-the-Head

After Earth vs. Oblivion
The much-promoted sci-fi films of the spring of 2012, Oblivion is far and away the better film. That is sort of relative, though. It was a composite of about 50 other sci-fi movies, but it was beautifully shot and realized on the big screen. After Earth meanwhile, had the conceit that the hero had to be boring in order to fight fear-smelling monsters. He was so successful that the whole movie was boring.

After-Earth-vs.-Oblivion

You’re Next vs. All The Boys Love Mandy Love
Both were savvy, gory horror, and both have been sitting on the shelves for a couple years. And they’re both among the best horror of the year. Mandy is atmospheric and sexy, but You’re Next wins, somehow balancing scares, blood, and a lot of comedy.

Youre-Next-All-The-Boys-Love-Mandy-Love

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters vs. Jack the Giant Slayer
Umm…I tried to forget that these happened. But Jack definitely had the better costumes.

Hansel-&-Gretel-Witch-Hunters-Jack-the-Giant-Slayer

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  • Scott Bland

    Movie snobs love to hate on Hansel and Gretel, but if was good for what it was – a brainless action movie that didn’t take itself anywhere near as seriously as snobs like you did.

    • Keyser Soze

      You really live up to your name.

      • Scott Bland

        And if that’s the best response you can give, thank you for telling me that I’m right.

    • TheRealWilliamHung

      I agree, it wasn’t intended to be a thought provoking oscar winning film. It was produced by the people behind: Eastbound & down, and casa de mi padre. It obiously wasn’t meant to be taken serious. Keyser is a snob who likes to critique and not give any validation behind his/her/(its?) reasoning