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Review: Fast & Furious 6

fast-six

Synopsis:
Agent Hobbs calls on Dominic Toretto, Brian O’Connor, and their band of misfits to help take down a similar though sinister and less charming group of thieves and carjackers. Property damage, wrecked cars, and explosions ensue. Oh, and O’Connor now has a son, and Han and Gisele really love each other. And Letty is somehow alive. Or is she?

Who’s in It?
Vin Diesel gives his greatest performance since Fast Five, and Dwayne Johnson is simply massive as Agent Hobbs (he must work out). Michelle Rodriguez returns despite dying in a previous installment, and Luke Evans is introduced as an accented evildoer. Paul Walker, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Ludacris, and Tyrese Gibson are all in it too, all of whom are pretty much only famous for having been in the Fast and Furious franchise.

Review:
Resist as you might, but it’s inevitable that a grin will cross your face at some point during the sixth installment of the juiced-up, ever-powerful street racing series. Even the hardest, most grumpiest of movie goers can’t help but to roll eyes and let out a laugh at some of the ridiculous, truly unbelievable action-sequences that this Vin Diesel-powered legacy has come to be known for.

Who cares that the stunts defy logic and physics? It doesn’t matter that the speeds of cars seem to change at random, depending on what each character needs to do, for example say jump from a bridge or a car or a plane, from one moving vehicle to another. And who cares that the stunning finale takes places on a runway that seems to be able 10 miles long?

It’s fun. Stupid, ridiculous, almost embarrassing fun. It’s the best kind of bad movie, one that has been honed over the last few installments and now enters some weird sublime-meta-action realm. The characters simply stare, gesticulate, and chatter idly in the same fashion each and every scene, making sure never to do too much or wait too long before running, shooting, or driving. They know their role, and they’re not winking as they go along, but deep down you know they are.

So, what does the sixth movie bring? There are these new hybrid formula one type racers, vehicles utilized by the bad guys to flip cars and create chaos. There are tanks too, and airplanes, and of course sometimes the only way to get from point A to point B is over a bridge. Gina Carano also joins the excitement, playing Hobbs badass assistant, who of course fights a lot.

While that’s entertaining, and loud enough to make you forget about just how insanely stupid the narrative actually is, there is still too much dialogue. Even spending the minimal amount of time as they do describing why they are about to do something so ridiculous is still too much time for the characters to chat; it allows you to realize again how absurd the movie really is (130 minutes is too long!).

There is also a completely superfluous diversion for Paul Walker’s character that pretty much serves to inform the team and the audience that the bad guy is in fact bad and unpredictable. Shocker. Fast Six is utterly predictable and silly, but the pair of lengthy set pieces in the second half serve to numb any memory of the times when it’s slow and boring. Not so much Furious, it’s Fast & Outrageous. And don’t worry, you better believe another is coming.

Should You See It?
Only in a packed theatre or in the company of friends as you make jokes and in unison the predictable lines that come your way.

Memorable Quote:
VROOOOM, VROOOOOM, VROOOOOOM, *explosion*

[star v=3]

Anthony Marcusa

A pop-culture consumer, Anthony seeks out what is important in entertainment and mocks what is not. Inspired by history, Anthony writes with the hope that someone, somewhere, might be affected.

  • Shari Ballon

    Not much of a plot to this. I’d say see it on a cheap tues.