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TAD 2012 Review: Cockneys Vs. Zombies

In front of a sold out crowd at home, the underdog Cockneys of the east end of London took to a hysterical and bloody battle with the visiting zombies from…who knows. At stake in the pivotal match: a retirement home, a historic neighbourhood, and, well, their lives.

Led by a pair of charming yet inept brothers, the Cockneys are both plucky and daring, never blushing against a Zombie squad that features a lot of depth and ability to fight tough on the road. Andy and Terry, alongside their cousin Katy—not Kate—lead a group of well-armed and able misfits, with youth and spirit on their side, against the ever-growing, albeit disorganized, Zombie hoard.

Joining the heroic trio on offense is Mickey, a young and tough soldier who sports a mental plate in his feel and a short temper, the definition of a risk-or-reward teammate. Their numbers are bolstered by a portly and inexperienced lad, high on spirit, but lacking the ability to properly use a gun, rob a bank, or ask out women. Also on the team is a pair of newly acquired though reluctant hands, including Emma, who struggles to get going early but comes up big late.

The Cockney also features a spirited and experienced defense in the patrons of the aforementioned old folks’ home. Led by Ray (Alan Ford), the father of the two boys, the slow but steady senior citizens try and hold down the fort against a relentless Zombie attack, awaiting rescue.

The Zombies got out to an early lead, taking the Cockneys by surprise, swiftly and bloodily knocking them out in huge numbers. The Cockneys, though, are smart, and as youth of the 21st century, they know a Zombie attack when they see one. And again as youth of the 21st century, they have access to weapons, and know how to pick locks, hot wire cars, and deliver some very witty lines.

After the initial onslaught, the Cockneys regroup, but find problems within their own locker room that they need to fix, while every so often a Zombie breaks through to pick off one of their own. But with a raucous home crowd (this was the first sold-out show of Toronto After Dark this year), the Cockneys fight with furious violence and wit, making for a most entertaining and bloody game, err movie. With perhaps the highest body count of anything around, including some rather creative ones, Cockneys Vs Zombies is better than advertised, hysterical and gory, and while I won’t tell you who wins, I’d certainly recommend betting on the home-dog Cockneys with the points.

[star v=4]

Gore Rating:

Anthony Marcusa

A pop-culture consumer, Anthony seeks out what is important in entertainment and mocks what is not. Inspired by history, Anthony writes with the hope that someone, somewhere, might be affected.