A Year Without Tyler Perry
Since his 2005 debut feature Diary of a Mad Black Woman, filmmaker Tyler Perry has released one to two films per year. Each year, audiences could rely on Perry for joy, laughter and tears. In 2015, this string of brilliance ended when Perry went an entire year without writing, directing, or starring in a film. In a conversation with editor-in-chief Tristan Laughton, I lamented on the year spent without Perry. We have decided to reimagine an alternate 2015 in which Tyler Perry starred in some of our favourite films. Here are the results.
Tyler Perry’s 45 Years
Tyler Perry’s 45 Years examines the relationship of Madea (Perry) and her brother Joe (Perry). When Aunt Myrtle (Cicely Tyson) reveals that the two are not biological siblings, Madea is forced to confront her feelings for her brother, making a decision that will alter the trajectory of their lives.
Tyler Perry’s Concussion
Like many of our readers, I was really looking forward to Will Smith’s performance in Concussion. The performance was ultimately a letdown, with Smith phoning in a lousy Nigerian accent with some over-the-top brooding. We have decided that a nuanced actor like Perry would be much better in the role of Dr. Bennet Omalu. Perry previously showed off his dramatic chops in his 2012 film Good Deeds, which shared familiar themes and motifs with Peter Landesman’s Concussion, making him the perfect candidate for the role.
Tyler Perry’s ROOM
In a reimaging of Abrahamson’s ROOM, Tyler Perry’s ROOM tells the story of a bougie white girl (Brie Larson) who is locked in a room with Tyler Perry. It is in this room that she must learn to appreciate his unique charm and humor. Romance ensues.
Tyler Perry’s Spectre
Only one Bond film has ever had a black Bond girl. Tyler Perry’s Spectre has amended this travesty firing Léa Seydoux and hiring Tyler Perry instead. Perry’s Madea replaces Madeline Swann in a hilarious new bond Bond film that is sure to get the juices flowing.
Star Wars: The Perry Awakens
The idea of a black hero in the new Star Wars movie offended a bunch of racists, so we have attended to that by recasting Tyler Perry as all the human characters in the film. The extended love scene between Perry’s Han Solo and Perry’s General Madea Organa is predicted to be the talk of this year’s Cannes Film Festival.
Tyler Perry’s The Martian
After Madea (Perry) is left behind on Mars, she must use her knowledge of soul food and science to survive as she waits for rescue from the NAACP.
Madea, The Treasure Hunter
Tyler Perry never forgets about the indie crowd. In a joint effort with the Zellner brothers, Tyler Perry stars as woman with a mission. You can take Madea out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of Madea as she travels to Fargo, North Dakota in search of the cinematic treasure known as Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.
Posters reimagined by Tristan Laughton